The Scientist
by Xamira Gray
Summary: A Coldplay song-fic, featuring Vexen. A normal day of toxic chemical brewing turns bizarre for the Chilly Academic.


WHAT IS WROGN WITH ME TODAY??? I managed to delete this one too ;__; I've been a little trigger/delete happy today I guess...

TITLE: The Scientist

AUTHOR: TheOnly9one/Divine_Lunatic

RATING: K/G

GENRE: Song-fic, humor

SONG: The Scientist by Coldplay

SUMMARY: Yeah, I know, 'wtf, Vexen song-fic???? DX'. I had that reaction too when I got the initial idea.

CHARACTERS: Vexen, a little of Lexaeus (he needed the love. Some of the rest of the Org. VERY briefly.

WARNING: This fic contains a profound lack of interpreting symbolism, an even more profound lack of understanding chemistry, and lyrics taken way too literally. This fic isn't meant to be taken seriously, under any circumstances. Maybe some OOC:ness, depending of how you see the character xDx

DISCLAIMER: THEY'RE ALL MINE, MINE I TELL YOU!!!!! *is carted away by men in white and a lawyer leaves the message "Not hers." behind*

A/N: Well, this turned out a bit different than planned xD Oh well. I had fun. Hope you do too.

* * *

**The Scientist**

XxX

_Come up to meet you_

_tell you I'm sorry_

_You don't know how lovely you are._

_XxX_

The Chilly Academic stormed into his laboratory, muttering to himself, "Oh, the nerve some of those brats have! Thinking that my experiments are drinks, ordering me around like an underling... And that good-for-nothing leader of ours, having absolutely no control here!" His tirade went on, as Demyx, Marluxia and Xemnas respectively heard exactly what Vexen thought of them. Or rather would've heard, had they been there.

Still fuming he went to the cupboard where he kept his chemicals. "But not to worry, my loves, now we have all the time we need..." he mumbled to one of the bottles, emitting a high-pitched cackle.

XxX

_I had to find you_

_tell you I need you_

_and tell you I set you apart._

_XxX_

Frowning to himself, Vexen noticed that he had taken the wrong bottle. He started rummaging through the cupboard, and one walking past the laboratory might've heard some interesting noises. "Now now, come back to me, dear!" **Crash**. "Ooh, you're one sneaky little fellow, aren't you?" **Clunk, thump, bonk.** "Ouch, how did you get there?" R**ummage, rummage, crash, rummage.** "Ah! There you are, my beauty..."

XxX

_Tell me your secrets_

_and ask me your questions_

_Oh let's go back to the start._

_XxX_

He walked over to a cup of something seemingly green brewing on the lab table. Crouching down, he poured a cup purple liquid into another bottle, and set it too on to the heater. Now all he could do was wait... No! He could start mixing more chemical, albeit not as important ones... Yes, the green-purple chemical mixture came first... But he had some free time now. He could play around. Each new experiment would give new answers... But at the same time, they would just ask a new question, that desperately needed answering...

XxX

_Running in circles_

_coming in tails_

_heads on a science apart._

_XxX_

He walked in circles around the room, as he pondered what would be useful for him to do. What would be useful for a scientist to do.

XxX

_Nobody said it was easy_

_It's such a shame for us to part_

_Nobody said it was easy_

_but no-one ever said it would be this hard._

_XxX_

Absent minded, he made his way back to the cupboard. Maybe he'd just toy around with things. He was experienced enough to not cause an accident, wasn't he?

He grabbed three bottles randomly (gold, red and a silver liquid could be found inside them). Quickly glancing at the labels, he unscrewed the corks, and poured the gold and silver things into a same bottle. He handled the red stuff a bit more carefully, as it could light up if used callously. Vexen set his forearm on the table to steady himself, and began sloooooowwwwllllllyyyyyy dribbling the liquid. One drop. Two drops. Three dr–**Boom**.

XxX

_Oh take me back to the start._

_XxX_

Lexaeus was walking in the corridors coming out of the gym. Unfazed by the sounds of explosion, he poked his head through the lab door. Half of Vexen's hair was ignited, there were no eyebrows to be spoken of, and his face was charred with strange reddish ash. "Help?" Lexaeus asked quietly. Vexen 'humphed', and nodded, "A fire-extinguisher would be appropriate."

XxX

_I was just guessing_

_the numbers and figures_

_pulling the puzzles apart._

_XxX_

Now Vexen was rattled by his failure. What could've caused him, an expert in chemistry, make such a bad mistake? He grabbed a piece of paper, and started scribbling different formulas and equations, all the while he gave an occasional mutter and high-pitched laugh.

XxX

_Questions of science–_

_science and progress–_

_Don't speak as loud as my heart._

_XxX_

He felt a strange rush spreading from the pit of his stomach, through his chest, and then to his head, making him feel giddy and exited. What he didn't realize that the original two chemicals had long since started to boil over the cups, creating a toxic fume. His equations got more and more silly, but he didn't realize that. He was completely intoxicated by said fumes and head over heels about his CALCULATIONS!!!

XxX

_Tell me you love me_

_then come back and haunt me_

_oh when I rush to the start._

_XxX_

The sound of sizzling was coming from somewhere, in the lab, Vexen couldn't tell where. Puzzled, he began twisting and turning, trying to locate the new distraction.

XxX

_Running in circles_

_chasing our tails_

_Coming back as we are._

_XxX_

After a while of futile searching, Vexen decided that the sound was just somebody's... errr, Nobody's tea-pot boiling over. Despite the fact that the kitchens were located 5 levels higher. He took a glance at his paper work, suddenly noting how the equations were simply perfect. He let out yet another gleeful laugh, as he made his way back to the chemicals. Again, he mixed the gold and silver liquid, and then dribbled exactly two and a half drops of the red liquid in. The mixture turned black.

"YES!!! I HAVE CREATED...." Vexen checked his notes, "FIRE!!!! DARK FIRE!!!! NOTHING CAN GO WRONG NOW!"

Well, everycan tell exactly what happens when this line is uttered.

XxX

_Nobody said it was easy_

_It's such a shame for us to part_

_Nobody said it was easy_

_but no-one ever said it would be this hard._

_XxX_

During his dance of joy, the hand holding 'fire' came in contact with the heater. With the over boiled green and purple chemicals on it. Yelping in pain, he dropped his newest creation, which tipped over, splashing the other two bottles, and knocking them all on the ground.

**Boom.**

XxX

_I'm going back to the start._

_XxX_

The second explosion caused a far smaller reaction in the castle's lounge than the first one. No-one fell off their couch (Demyx), and no-one got distracted enough to reveal their poker cards (Luxord and Xigbar). No-one looked up from their book (Zexion, of course), and no-one paused their sword-polishing and looking important (Saïx). Lexaeus, however turned towards the entrance, where a extremely confused looking Vexen was emerging from. "Fire-extinguisher?" was the only thing he asked.

* * *

Welp, hope you liked it, please leave a review, and all flames (especially the ones Vexen created) will be fed to my demonic bunny x3


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